so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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