I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
