I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
