Don't you send me to vm
I haven't been this sober since birth.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
