between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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