I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just googled if crying burns calories
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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