hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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