He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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