So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I deserve this hangover.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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