so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Floor bacon is actually really good
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
