I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will pee on everything he values.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
