I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Farmville is her only friend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
