My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize