Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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