Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
