Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize