You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
