I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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