she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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