They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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