i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
