we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
