Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
