I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize