do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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