i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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