I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I know her cup size but not her name....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
