Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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