Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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