I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize