another moral hangover. fuck.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dude. I can hear the air.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
