Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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