It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize