why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
