Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize