But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize