had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
