some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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