I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
