problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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