i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
