I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
