i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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