dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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