i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
