I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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