no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
