I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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