I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
