some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
