After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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