i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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