he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
