Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
