Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
