Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
birth control should be required to get into college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
