Are we in a gay sports bar?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
