; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She said her name was "party"
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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