Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My dick has a subreddit
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
