let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
