i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
