sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
