i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
