omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
