How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
