I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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