Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
