I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
