I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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