You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it's like heaven, but drunker
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
