Sry I called you an 8
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
